…Famous Web Quotes for $500 please

I’m writing this from the plane, as I travel to Cambridge at Forrester’s HQ to teach a Social Computing Workshop with Peter Kim tomorrow. As I daydreamed while watching the clouds go by, I couldn’t help by reflecting on all the stupid things I’ve heard in my short 9 year career, here’s the real nuggets:

Here’s some ridiculous things I’ve heard in my short career of 9 years in web:

“The company is fine, despite some streamlining, we’re on a growth track” (My former CEO before we went Chapter 11 at Exodus Communications, FAIL)

“All those guys in the other group are assholes” J.M. (Hmm, if you think everyone else is the asshole, doesn’t that make you the asshole JM?)

“Yes, of course our system is scalable” –Sales Guy, CMS company (before we deployed an un-scalable and inflexible CMS system)

“I read you email, my assistant printed it out for me this morning” –executive at a large bank (during my meeting with him about the intranet)

“We’ve got that feature, here’s a screenshot of what we’ve got in development and in our roadmap” -web product manager (I reported to this guy, and he asked me to make mock ups of what we were going to deliver during an analyst review…we never implemented)

“Blogging is a fad” –Web Developer at Hitachi Data Systems (guess not)

“Second life is amazing, there’s a future there” -Jeremiah Owyang (everyone’s smitten by cool technology, I’ve since learned)

“I can’t access the ‘C’ Server” -A mid-level business manager said to me (referring to her local drive)

“Backup? Nah, I just make changes to the live code” -Said a .net web developer (just hours before overwriting 3 days of development, oops)

Need to rant? here’s your chance: Add you own below, but no reason to leave the perp’s name, unless they’ve stated it in public. On a related note, my new favorite blog is the FAIL Blog, have a laugh, at the expense of others you mean son of a gun.